Election 2006, US
It's election week in the United States of America! As I recall, the Brit said something about elections over there sometime soon. Who cares? Not our news media; that's for sure. That being said, I'm too caught up in ours to worry about what other countries are doing at the moment.
As you may or may not know, we have two legislative branches, the Senate - with six year terms, and the House of Representatives - with two year terms. This means that every two years, all of the Representatives and one third of the Senators are up for a vote. Since, effectively, we only have two political parties, control of the law making function can change hands in any election. Exciting stuff, even in normal times, and even more of a rush now that the country is so divided on so many important issues. Shucks, even some dead people are fired up enough to vote, but more on that later.
Modern voting machine
First, let's talk about how we vote, as in the physical casting of ballots. I'm almost certain that everyone in the world knows about the Bush v Gore election and the hanging chads. Well, after that the Federal Government handed out baskets full of cash all over the country to update voting machines. Guess what, there are still chads hanging around polling places all over. Which is strange, considering that Shelby County (where I live and which includes the city of Memphis) had touch screen voting machines before the word "chad" was commonly known. Now, this area is not the wealthiest part of the US. As a matter of fact, we're down on the bottom half of that list. We have the latest voting technology. Places in Florida, many near the top of the wealthy list, are still going to use punch card ballots this week, even after vast flows of Federal dollars. Strange, but I guess someone has to keep the lawyers employed.
Speaking of lawyers, there are going to be roving gangs of them patrolling every polling place in the country. Not just to sue the hanging chads off reluctant ballots, but to protect everyone's right to vote. Dead, minority, handy capped, non-English speaking, illiterate, illegal alien, space alien, felon, comatose, or incontinent, every vote will be cast and counted or poll workers will spend the time until the next election in court. Oh, and the dead do rise, not on Halloween, but on election day. There are several districts (voting areas) that have more people on the voting roll than live there. Some investigative reporting has shown the cause of this to be corpses, still registered and voting.
Don't worry, more excitement awaits. Take for instance the race for an open Senate seat in my home state of Tennessee.
This man, Bob Corker,
is running against this man, Harold Ford,
because this man, Bill Frist,
kept his campaign promise to only serve two terms.
The Republican Party ran a TV spot in support of Corker. You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWkrwENN5CQ&eurl Personally, I thought the ad was well done and entertaining, as it took some shots at Ford's political record. However, it did contain mention by this character,
saying she met Ford at a Playboy party. The ad ends with her making the phone sign and saying "call me." The Democratic Party, through various members, and our rather liberal national news media, had fits trying to decry this ad as raciest, because it implies a black man may be dating a white woman. Of course, in all other recorded instances of party platform and personal opinion of Democrats, inter-racial dating is supposed to be absolutely OK.
Oh, there's more, much more. Far too much for this post. And, it's not over yet. The voting doesn't take place until Tuesday, leaving plenty of time for last minute dirty tricks, sudden revelations about the past of various candidates, and, with luck, perhaps even a fist fight or two between candidates. Good times, good times. And I get to enjoy it all, because I've already cast my ballot. Our state has a law permitting early voting two weeks prior to the elections. I picked a rainy, cool morning and, even though one of the poll workers said I looked dead, had my votes cast within 15 minutes. Unfortunately it was done on a touch screen, so I couldn't get a souvenir chad.
the Grit
As you may or may not know, we have two legislative branches, the Senate - with six year terms, and the House of Representatives - with two year terms. This means that every two years, all of the Representatives and one third of the Senators are up for a vote. Since, effectively, we only have two political parties, control of the law making function can change hands in any election. Exciting stuff, even in normal times, and even more of a rush now that the country is so divided on so many important issues. Shucks, even some dead people are fired up enough to vote, but more on that later.
Modern voting machine
Dreaded hanging chad
First, let's talk about how we vote, as in the physical casting of ballots. I'm almost certain that everyone in the world knows about the Bush v Gore election and the hanging chads. Well, after that the Federal Government handed out baskets full of cash all over the country to update voting machines. Guess what, there are still chads hanging around polling places all over. Which is strange, considering that Shelby County (where I live and which includes the city of Memphis) had touch screen voting machines before the word "chad" was commonly known. Now, this area is not the wealthiest part of the US. As a matter of fact, we're down on the bottom half of that list. We have the latest voting technology. Places in Florida, many near the top of the wealthy list, are still going to use punch card ballots this week, even after vast flows of Federal dollars. Strange, but I guess someone has to keep the lawyers employed.
Speaking of lawyers, there are going to be roving gangs of them patrolling every polling place in the country. Not just to sue the hanging chads off reluctant ballots, but to protect everyone's right to vote. Dead, minority, handy capped, non-English speaking, illiterate, illegal alien, space alien, felon, comatose, or incontinent, every vote will be cast and counted or poll workers will spend the time until the next election in court. Oh, and the dead do rise, not on Halloween, but on election day. There are several districts (voting areas) that have more people on the voting roll than live there. Some investigative reporting has shown the cause of this to be corpses, still registered and voting.
Don't worry, more excitement awaits. Take for instance the race for an open Senate seat in my home state of Tennessee.
This man, Bob Corker,
is running against this man, Harold Ford,
because this man, Bill Frist,
kept his campaign promise to only serve two terms.
The Republican Party ran a TV spot in support of Corker. You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWkrwENN5CQ&eurl Personally, I thought the ad was well done and entertaining, as it took some shots at Ford's political record. However, it did contain mention by this character,
saying she met Ford at a Playboy party. The ad ends with her making the phone sign and saying "call me." The Democratic Party, through various members, and our rather liberal national news media, had fits trying to decry this ad as raciest, because it implies a black man may be dating a white woman. Of course, in all other recorded instances of party platform and personal opinion of Democrats, inter-racial dating is supposed to be absolutely OK.Oh, there's more, much more. Far too much for this post. And, it's not over yet. The voting doesn't take place until Tuesday, leaving plenty of time for last minute dirty tricks, sudden revelations about the past of various candidates, and, with luck, perhaps even a fist fight or two between candidates. Good times, good times. And I get to enjoy it all, because I've already cast my ballot. Our state has a law permitting early voting two weeks prior to the elections. I picked a rainy, cool morning and, even though one of the poll workers said I looked dead, had my votes cast within 15 minutes. Unfortunately it was done on a touch screen, so I couldn't get a souvenir chad.
the Grit
posted by Brit & Grit at 11:54 AM
2 Comments:
Oh ho ...so you got to vote on one of the new, no paper machines. I guess we heard enough about hanging chads ...for this lifetime anyhow.
Yes indeed. No paper, and more fodder for reports of election fraud. The fun never ends.
the Grit
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