Man about the house
We decided this time to concentrate on a man’s use around the house, though in my case you will not be thinking Super-Paul by end of this article. I look at the qualities of Super-Bob and think, whatever happened to this UK male?
Not that I am totally useless. I am good at cleaning and tidying up. The two qualities I really excel at are shopping and understanding instructions. With shopping I always have the right change ready for the checkout person before they ring the items through. Such is my number crunching ability that it automatically tally’s in my head. Similarly, I only have to read instructions once to have an understanding of them. However, it is at this stage that I begin to fail.
My cooking skills are reasonable, save for including treble the prescribed amount of baking powder in cakes. My gardening skills excellent for visitors who appreciate a colourful array of weeds. (How was I to know?) My washing skills are unique in creating a not appreciated multi-coloured wardrobe.
At DIY, I am a nightmare. My CV in this area includes the replacement of a door. The replacement was so large that I had to knock half of the wall away to rebuild the enlarged doorframe. It actually never occurred to me to exchange the door for a smaller size. Another task was to place a cabinet on the bathroom wall. Hitting my thumb instead of the nail resulted in me dropping the cabinet, which broke the cold water pipe, showering my partner (who was bathing at the time) with cold water.
However the crowning event was when I was asked to cut a net curtain rail for a window in the hallway. With there being no even surface I decided to sit on the stairs and use my knee as a bench. It was not until a small river of blood began to run down the stairs (and didn’t I get into trouble for that!) that the error occurred to me. At the point where my partner said “I can see your bone,” I left the conscious world only to be woken by the pain of a nurse sewing the limb on again.
Thus it can be seen that I may not make the ideal addition to a household. However, I do have some uses….. honest.
The Brit
We decided this time to concentrate on a man’s use around the house, though in my case you will not be thinking Super-Paul by end of this article. I look at the qualities of Super-Bob and think, whatever happened to this UK male?
Not that I am totally useless. I am good at cleaning and tidying up. The two qualities I really excel at are shopping and understanding instructions. With shopping I always have the right change ready for the checkout person before they ring the items through. Such is my number crunching ability that it automatically tally’s in my head. Similarly, I only have to read instructions once to have an understanding of them. However, it is at this stage that I begin to fail.
My cooking skills are reasonable, save for including treble the prescribed amount of baking powder in cakes. My gardening skills excellent for visitors who appreciate a colourful array of weeds. (How was I to know?) My washing skills are unique in creating a not appreciated multi-coloured wardrobe.
At DIY, I am a nightmare. My CV in this area includes the replacement of a door. The replacement was so large that I had to knock half of the wall away to rebuild the enlarged doorframe. It actually never occurred to me to exchange the door for a smaller size. Another task was to place a cabinet on the bathroom wall. Hitting my thumb instead of the nail resulted in me dropping the cabinet, which broke the cold water pipe, showering my partner (who was bathing at the time) with cold water.
However the crowning event was when I was asked to cut a net curtain rail for a window in the hallway. With there being no even surface I decided to sit on the stairs and use my knee as a bench. It was not until a small river of blood began to run down the stairs (and didn’t I get into trouble for that!) that the error occurred to me. At the point where my partner said “I can see your bone,” I left the conscious world only to be woken by the pain of a nurse sewing the limb on again.
Thus it can be seen that I may not make the ideal addition to a household. However, I do have some uses….. honest.
The Brit
posted by Brit & Grit at 12:27 PM
8 Comments:
All I can say Paul is we each have unique talents on a specific area. If I may hazard a guess, house repair and maintenance is not your area. Of course I could be wrong. :o) . I think I remember reading somewhere that we are good at things that we invest time in. So if your an excellent writer it's because you took the time to work on your writing skills. Makes sense, right? (wink) I enjoyed this post. Keep it up.
See, now THIS should be on instead of BBC's Changing Rooms. I'd watch it! haha
At the moment I can keep my mess to my room ( i house share with two girls) and can cook breakfast, with no problems, every Sunday morning for the missus. I think I qualify for being usefull around the house.
Clean and useful
Hi Clean,
Hay, I was 25 and married before I got the chance to learn to cook. Before then, I either ate out, microwaved some junk meal, or waited on a woman to cook me something.
After watching a few cooking shows, and braving myself up, the moment when I dared to prepare a meal was a turning point in my life. So it sounds like you're on the high road already. Keep it up!
Some day, I'll tell y'all about the time I cooked breakfast for 25 of my son's friends when they evacuated from Katrina.
the Grit
Hi Clean,
Hay, I was 25 and married before I got the chance to learn to cook. Before then, I either ate out, microwaved some junk meal, or waited on a woman to cook me something.
After watching a few cooking shows, and braving myself up, the moment when I dared to prepare a meal was a turning point in my life. So it sounds like you're on the high road already. Keep it up!
Some day, I'll tell y'all about the time I cooked breakfast for 25 of my son's friends when they evacuated from Katrina.
the Grit
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hi Clean,
Hay, I was 25 and married before I got the chance to learn to cook. Before then, I either ate out, microwaved some junk meal, or waited on a woman to cook me something.
After watching a few cooking shows, and braving myself up, the moment when I dared to prepare a meal was a turning point in my life. So it sounds like you're on the high road already. Keep it up!
Some day, I'll tell y'all about the time I cooked breakfast for 25 of my son's friends when they evacuated from Katrina.
the Grit
Hi Maia,
Yes I guess that is what happened. I now leave written notes all over the house:-) No one takes any notice of course.
Hi Clean. That's one up on me then. We will do what we can to get the media interested in the Brit and Grit show.
Paul
ps, I just wanted to add, that the "Clean and useful" at the bottom of my comment wasn't my name, just a tagline. Sorry. But to add, I've never been called Clean before :D haha
Liking the blog though.
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